Thursday, 7 May 2015

I'm on Edge

I can't work, can't really sleep, can't even garden. The clinical psychology practicum is going as wrong as it can possibly go. It's less than three weeks until the deadline, and I don't even have a mentor yet! I'm desperate. I was in a crisis centre for a month, and on April 30 I found out that the lawyer of the crisis centre had found some issues with the agreement and I could not complete the practicum there - due to some technicality. On that same day I managed to find another placement - with the largest psychiatry hospital in the country, and arranged to go there (with that same agreement) this Tuesday. I was so very nervous I drove the 50 km to the hospital more than an hour early, just to receive a message from my would-be mentor saying that he was sick and that I should call him on Thursday (today). I was so high-strung all morning, hesitating to call and waiting for some stupid signs, that I gave up and just sent him a message, asking when I could meet him and if he was OK now. He hasn't replied. It's been two hours, and I still don't know anything.
What's the worst thing that can happen? I might not be able to complete this year and would have to do the practicum next year, and that would mean that I would lose my scholarship. It would mean quite a lot of money, and I would really hate to pay. Moreover, I would feel like a failure.
I don't know why the school practicum went so brilliantly while this one presents such challenges that I'm losing sleep and all motivation to work.

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