Monday, 25 May 2015

FIB, CIA and Other Career Choices for a Latvian Boy

Today I had an 8th-grader tell me that all he really wants to do in his life is to work for FBI in the USA. He's neither the brightest nor the most diligent student, but for now he has a clear goal, and who am I to tell him it will most probably not be as easy and as much fun as he thinks it will. So we went through some of the inevitable steps he must take in order to even come close to doing something like that some day (like getting a student visa or green card in America, for starters!) Then he asked what I had dreamed of becoming when I was 16, and I had to tell him I really wanted to be a rockstar. He didn't even laugh, though I am now as apprehensive of his chances ever getting to work for FBI as I am of my chances of being a guitar goddess - not in this life, dear Diana.
However, I do hope his dream will last at least long enough to help him find motivation to stay in school and to study hard. After all, that's my job - whether he becomes a secret agent or not.

And who would have thought - there is a whole wiki page just on how to become an FBI or CIA agent!

Monday, 11 May 2015

I Made a Young Man Cry

This was a special day for me, and I don't know yet how it's going to affect my work with one 8th grader. I made him cry, and it seemed to be the purifying sort of crying that brings some sweet release and relief. I think it was my first real therapy session with a student, and I really really hope I'm not wrong and will not have to eat some humble pie later on. It seemed I had made some real connection with him, and this was also the first time that I realized I needed some tissues in "my" office. I didn't have any, didn't offer him any, and I could see he was a bit embarrassed by his tears. Oh, I do hope I've gained some ground with him.

I've just returned from a very romantic long walk with my husband and the dog. Everything is in bloom, everything is incredibly beautiful, the world seems new and fresh. The last thing I want to do is translate, but translate I must, for I am a translator. It's hard being what you are and doing what you do when you want to just take huge gulps of life and not think about the mundane, about earning a living and doing everyday things.
I won't fret, all is well.

Thursday, 7 May 2015

I'm on Edge

I can't work, can't really sleep, can't even garden. The clinical psychology practicum is going as wrong as it can possibly go. It's less than three weeks until the deadline, and I don't even have a mentor yet! I'm desperate. I was in a crisis centre for a month, and on April 30 I found out that the lawyer of the crisis centre had found some issues with the agreement and I could not complete the practicum there - due to some technicality. On that same day I managed to find another placement - with the largest psychiatry hospital in the country, and arranged to go there (with that same agreement) this Tuesday. I was so very nervous I drove the 50 km to the hospital more than an hour early, just to receive a message from my would-be mentor saying that he was sick and that I should call him on Thursday (today). I was so high-strung all morning, hesitating to call and waiting for some stupid signs, that I gave up and just sent him a message, asking when I could meet him and if he was OK now. He hasn't replied. It's been two hours, and I still don't know anything.
What's the worst thing that can happen? I might not be able to complete this year and would have to do the practicum next year, and that would mean that I would lose my scholarship. It would mean quite a lot of money, and I would really hate to pay. Moreover, I would feel like a failure.
I don't know why the school practicum went so brilliantly while this one presents such challenges that I'm losing sleep and all motivation to work.