I Made a Young Man Cry

This was a special day for me, and I don't know yet how it's going to affect my work with one 8th grader. I made him cry, and it seemed to be the purifying sort of crying that brings some sweet release and relief. I think it was my first real therapy session with a student, and I really really hope I'm not wrong and will not have to eat some humble pie later on. It seemed I had made some real connection with him, and this was also the first time that I realized I needed some tissues in "my" office. I didn't have any, didn't offer him any, and I could see he was a bit embarrassed by his tears. Oh, I do hope I've gained some ground with him.

I've just returned from a very romantic long walk with my husband and the dog. Everything is in bloom, everything is incredibly beautiful, the world seems new and fresh. The last thing I want to do is translate, but translate I must, for I am a translator. It's hard being what you are and doing what you do when you want to just take huge gulps of life and not think about the mundane, about earning a living and doing everyday things.
I won't fret, all is well.

A Tough Day for a New School Psychologist

I arrived at 12.30, half an hour early. I went into the teachers' room and saw what I thought was quite an unusual sight. A teenage boy was standing near the door, and all the teachers were standing up and looked very angry. The scout leader, being the manliest man of the school, was reproaching the boy. The scout leader looked all red and besides himself with fury. I watched as the boy closed in, not looking at anyone, ear-buds behind his ears, hood over his head, all dignified and careless, and indifferent. When all the angry words and accusations were over - it turned out he (and two of his classmates) had climbed out onto the school roof during classes to smoke. "Are you an addict?" the principal asked? She was so mad. "Can't you do without smoking at least until the break?"
The boy didn't say anything. I asked him to come to my office after the English lesson - during biology. I didn't want him to miss English, and the biology teacher was quite willing to send the boy to me.
I worked with his younger brother during that lesson. I found the same indifference, the same lack of emotions, of feelings, of any life in the boy that his brother had displayed just a while ago. I learned about the boys verbal skills and attention span, about his lack of sleep and dislike for his teacher. He left, and I began waiting for his big brother. But he never came.
I intend to see him tomorrow, first thing in the morning, during the first class, but there is no way of knowing whether he will show up at all.
I really hope to make both of those brothers see that the world is not against them and that they indeed can be appreciated and seen for who they are - not as delinquents, but as kids that desperately need care - with no one to give a damn about how they're doing at school or in life, for that matter.
Of course, I'm naive and idealistic to think that I can help those boys, but I suppose newbies have to be that way, or there is no hope at all if we are all cynics right from the start. Oh, I do hope he comes to my office tomorrow.

Planting, Dancing and Bullying

It's raining now after two days of the most perfect spring weather. I managed to sew a lot of flower seeds as well as some peas and yellow string beans.
On Friday I bought Forsythia x intermedia "Lynwood Gold". The three naked branches leave a lot of room for imagination, and I hope it will grow thick and flower lavishly.
I did manage to finish the socks for Walter's dance recital on Saturday. This is how they turned out, I was rather pleased, even if the project was quite quick and easy.

The dance recital was great, and I couldn't be prouder since it was the first time I saw my child dancing with a proper dance club. I think even Ralph felt a bit envious watching his brother, but I doubt that will be enough to make him join the dance club as well.

I'm at school three days a week - Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. As luck would have it, both on Thursday and Friday "things happened" at school, and I've been thinking about bullying prevention and attendance problems for three days now. I have some sort of a plan in my head that I wish to implement, but I must admit, the task seems daunting.
This video might be a good start - at least to know which methods have been proven to be less than effective, and it is a nationwide problem that has not really been addressed on a national level in my country, so I need to put together my own materials, translating and adapting from strategies that have already been proven to work.

I do hope to make a difference, but I feel sooo new to all of this...

Oh, Yes, It's All Good!

Yesterday was one of those days. One of those incredible days when everything just falls in its place. I went to school (to work with kids! And teachers! Yay!), I finished my practicum report, I drove to the city, I got there in record time, submitted the report and was back in my home town just two and a half hours later! I don't think I had to stop at any red lights, that was just unbelievable. I even managed to squeeze in some 10 minutes for the library, and I even got two books on autism and Asperger's that I had wanted to read for some time now. And I got back home, and everything went so smoothly I could not even believe it. A group-mate called and said she could help me find the clinical practicum for April-May, and I got hold of the would-be mentor at a crisis centre. She agreed to meet me on Tuesday, and I just can't wait!
Life is getting more and more hectic and busy, so it's easy not to notice that spring is here. But it is! And I'm sure many people would appreciate if their 3-minute walk to work looked like this.

Tonight I will relax with a wonderful knitting work - dancing socks for my son.
And tomorrow... and on Saturday... I will make sure to find some time for some gardening work! Oh, life is so good!

First Day

The first school day is over, and what a day it was! It was a bit weird, looking through all the materials that the previous psychologist has left, reading the student files and getting to know so many of them...
Everything was new. Going to work in the morning was quite new, but taking a change of shoes with me to work was unprecedented. Learning the ropes, meeting the kids. Hugging some and reproaching some others. Even drying tears.
I really, really like it there. I didn't even want to leave. If I didn't have soooooo much to do (I need to hand in my practicum report tomorrow and translate three hour-long "Top Gear" episodes, and two episodes of a German police drama, and I have to drive to the city tomorrow to the University, and I need to finish knitting socks for my son's dance recital on Saturday, and I need to find someone - anyone! - to take me on for the second practicum.)
Life has never been more exciting and fun.

Life-Changing Life Changes

If I'm allowed to wish for something (and I most certainly am), then I really, really, really hope that my potential internship mentor turns out to be my actual internship mentor. And I need to know that tomorrow.
I've done so much this year that I am quite amazed at myself and even consider patting myself on the back. I've done my school psychology internship (I still have to write the "report", though, and it's not going to be easy), I've learned so much, and I have even applied for a job at the local school. It's thanks to the economy and the fact that the psychology law is still in the making that I can do that at all. But I can, and I'm going to take advantage of the situation.
On Thursday I will sign a contract that will allow me to work and learn, and hopefully to do some good - albeit for absolute peanuts. But there are other perks - like a chance to be away from home (and the fridge - you work-from-home moms surely know what it's like. Or not.). I will have my own office!!! With furniture, books, file cabinets, folders and staples!!!
I will be one of the teaching staff!
I will be allowed to sit in the teachers' room during breaks! And to talk to actual teachers like I'm one of them! (This might be a bit naive, I know - a psychologist is never one of the teachers, she's more like "help".)
The first internship (or "school psychology practice") is over, and tomorrow I'm supposed to go to a clinical internship, watch a psychologist at work, do some testing and interviewing, and evaluating on my own (quite a lot, in fact - at least 80 hours), but I still don't know if I will be taken on or if I will have to look for another place rather frantically.
So, please, the Force, make that person pick up her phone tomorrow and tell me she's willing to take me and teach me, and work with me. Because I will be the best student ever, I swear I will. Or at least the best I can be.

Yeah! I'm a school psychologist!

Test and scramble, test and scramble...

So Excited and Anxious!

I've got my entrance exams tomorrow at the University. I'm going for it. I need a master's degree in psychology. Keep your fingers crossed for me, please!
That means, I have to do all the work today (and tonight). I really hope it's not going to be an all-nighter, because no one can really be up to their game after a sleepless night. But this time I'll at least turn up and do my best instead of sabotaging myself and staying at home working. It's all or nothing this time.
I'm sorry to bring this up once again but it turns out that a week after I got my wages I'm running out of money AGAIN. So it has made me think hard about what I want to do and which university I should choose. Tomorrow may be of greater importance than I thought just a week ago. But more on that some other day.

In the midst of all feverish working and frustration I want to share a couple of pictures from the last couple of days. Yesterday our friend The Potter opened the kiln. It's a special occasion every year, and people come from all over the country to see it. It's a bit like unwrapping Easter eggs that have been carefully wrapped in onion peels and little green shoots etc. You never know quite what to expect.

This is one of my husband's many vases. It's especially exciting to see how the ceramic glaze will have changed its colour. 

I want to mention another great party we went to this Friday - my aunt turned 50 and threw an ultra mega giga party for a lot of guests with heaps of delicious food, wonderful games (I'm a sucker for charades, I just can't keep my mouth shut), and a sauna, and a hot-tub, and and a pond.

And once again we've pulled out the old dart-board from my single-girl days (it cost a small fortune then but now looks a bit musty) and I've bought the cheapest darts ever. I don't think it matters, since more often than not they can't even hit the board.

 OK, I'm going back to the trenches. And I really hope tomorrow will bring a new era in my life, so keep those pretty little fingers crossed for me, deal? I'll be ever so grateful.

The Cold Spell is Over

We complained and whined for a month. We were infuriated when we learned that the the air temperature on Midsummer Night was lower than on Christmas Eve! (+6 C). I looked at all sorts of mould and mildew taking over my garden. I felt offended the plants I had devoted so much time to didn't want to grow.

It's all over now! The summer is back with a vengeance! It's 30 degrees outside for the second day running, while the river is still very cold and the water levels - dangerously high after the long rains.

Look at the dog! What's with the grin? Oh, that's not a grin, or at least - not just a grin! It's so hot we're feeding ice-cream to the dog! (Just a bit, and just this once.)

I'm swamped. For the first time in months I have more work than I can combine with 6 hours of sleep. I'm not complaining, though. I need to step up and earn twice as much and more. In addition to the twenty-something translation jobs I have to do till next Friday (including a Minecraft book and a dubbed cartoon - "Legends of Oz", no less!) I need to get to the university three times - once this week to submit the papers and twice next week - to pass the exam and to register for master's degree studies in clinical psychology.

But life goes on, kids and husband still need food, garden still needs looking after, dishes still need washing and laundry needs taking care of. And I wouldn't change a thing. That's what makes my summers so intense that I need the whole winter to get ready for the next one.

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So Many Amazing Days I've Lost Count (Except for Boring Wednesday)

Last Sunday we went to the seaside.
The first time this year Walter and I took a swim in the river was March 27, and the water was so very painfully cold that we could bear it for no more than a couple of seconds.
May 18 was the first swim in the sea for the four of us, even Ralph got wet - he's very sensitive to cold.

The kids have been making all kinds of housing throughout the week - I wonder if they study at all,

I've had a lot of work this week, so it's amazing. It is the difference between freezing cheap yogurt in the freezer and buying real ice-cream.
I've also done a lot in the garden. Everything's growing leaps and bounds, we've mowed the grass three times over the last seven days.

I planted a nectarine tree today. Arthur's sister gave it to him last Saturday, and I've been waiting for the perfect day to plant it since almost all the plants that I have planted at the wrong time have died. I have high hopes for this nectarine, I've always wanted a peach or something like it, and even though I know it's very fickle and hard to grow in our climate, I'm willing to cover it in winter and do all things possible to keep it strong. It's just a tiny baby now, and I had to pluck all the flowers off of it to make the roots stronger, but I'm sure it's going to look magical next spring with bright pink flowers.

My fernleaf peony (Paeonia tenuifolia plena) that I replanted last autumn has survived and has almost done blooming. I decided to take a picture while I can and not wait for a day when all the weeding will be over. I don't believe it ever will be over, since there's growing a veritable jungle in one part of the garden while I'm weeding the other.

We're short of money, and the rhubarb has unexpectedly helped me through. There's all kinds of dessert you can make using rhubarb, and I really don't know what I would do without it while there are no other fruits. (I know it's technically a vegetable, not a fruit, I know.)

This is going to be the first night of the year that the kids are going to spend outside in a tent.

I've got dozens of flowers to plant tomorrow, they're getting accustomed to the outdoors right now on the steps.

The only boring day was Wednesday, because I didn't manage to do anything at all, I just sat at the computer all day long playing some ancient games (Heroes of Might and Magic 2).
We've been to the river three times this week, and the week is not over yet, so I expect some more good swims this evening and tomorrow.

Friends are coming over tonight, so I have to go and tidy up the kitchen a bit. It's going to be an amazing night.

Excitement: 19. Boredom: 4

Excitement vs Anxiety

Yesterday was very exciting, I had an animated movie to translate for dubbing, and I sent it several hours too late. So this day is unbearably overwhelming, because I can feel the anger of my colleagues from 42 km distance. There's only one thing to do - and for some inexplicable reason  it is incredibly difficult. That is - to send everything on time. In good time. It will take a drastic overhaul of my habits to do that, and I am worried beyond all measure. I can't stand the feeling that everyone hates me at the moment (to be honest, not everyone, just a couple of people, and it's not really hate, it's just some well-earned anger).

In other news, the warmth is finally here, so I should devote all my spare time for gardening and all the millions of flowers that are getting all spindly and weak on the windowsills and need to be planted outside ASAP.
That's all exciting. Really. And we are going to see a play tomorrow evening, and I'm sure I'll love it. The kids will be thrilled, too, since they will have the computer to themselves for hours and hours.

Excitement: 11 Boredom: 3
(I really need an app or some kind of counter for this, I can't keep up any more.)